Teen relationship pressure can be hard to spot, especially when it’s disguised as love, loyalty, or just wanting to belong.
Love, especially for teens and young adults, can feel powerful, exciting, and all-consuming. But when it becomes a way for someone to exert unhealthy influence or control, it can lead to serious consequences.
At Natural High, we’re committed to helping young people make healthy decisions. That includes teaching them how to recognize when a romantic relationship, or any close relationship, may be doing more harm than good.
Negative influence in relationships, especially in teen relationships, isn’t always intentional or malicious. Often, it comes from a place of insecurity, emotional immaturity, or unhealed pain. One person may be trying to control a situation or another person because they’re struggling with their own challenges and don’t yet have the tools to manage them in healthy ways.
The goal isn’t to villainize anyone, but to help teens recognize when a relationship dynamic isn’t supportive, respectful, or safe. We want to empower them with the awareness and skills to choose what’s best for their well-being.
Signs of Emotional Pressure in Teen Relationships
A grieving parent recently shared the heartbreaking story of losing their child to fentanyl poisoning. On the surface, their child appeared “fine.” They had been educated about substance use, had a supportive family, and showed no obvious signs of concern. But behind the scenes, their romantic partner was quietly pressuring them to try drugs.
Early in their relationship, the partner encouraged them to experiment with what appeared to be a common prescription pill. Despite saying no several times, the pressure continued – and over time, it wore them down. One year later, the young person tragically lost their life after taking a counterfeit pill laced with fentanyl.
DEA testing has shown that 5 out of 10 counterfeit pills contained a potentially lethal dose of fentanyl. Learn more about how fentanyl shows up in counterfeit pills here.
Unhealthy pressure doesn’t always come with loud alarms. Sometimes, it looks like charm in public and subtle pressure in private. When someone is emotionally invested, they may overlook red flags in an effort to stay connected.
To help young people build the awareness and confidence to resist unhealthy influence, it’s essential they learn:
- How to spot controlling behaviors in the first place
- Refusal strategies that actually work
Romantic Peer Pressure: When Teens Feel Conflicted
Drug use isn’t always a black and white issue. Sometimes, the person pressuring a teen to try something isn’t intending to cause harm. They may be going through a hard time themselves and using substances as a way to cope. This can make things especially complicated when it is someone your child cares about.
Saying “no” to a friend or romantic partner is never easy. It’s even harder when your teen is worried about hurting someone they care about or damaging the relationship.
That’s why it matters to help them notice peer pressure, even when it’s subtle, and show them how to stand up for themselves without being unkind.
When possible, we can also help them learn how to gently encourage others to get help, because substance use affects everyone involved.
For more insight into how peer dynamics shape behavior, check out our blog on understanding teenage peer pressure.
Helping Teens Build Self-Worth in Unhealthy Relationships
Sometimes, teens end up in unhealthy relationships that feel more stressful than supportive. These could be with friends or romantic partners. As a parent or caregiver, you can help them think about how those relationships make them feel.
Try asking them questions like:
- Does this person respect your boundaries?
- Do they pressure you to do things you’re not okay with?
- Do you feel safe speaking up or asking for help?
Let them know these are serious things to consider.
One parent put it clearly:
“If someone pressures you into doing something you don’t want to do, they do not respect you. You need to drop them out of your life.”
You can also suggest they write down their thoughts. They might make a pros and cons list, type a quick note on their phone, or journal about what’s going on. Writing helps them see things more clearly. A lot of times, their gut already knows what feels right or wrong. They just need space to listen to it.
Remind them that they don’t have to stay in a relationship that makes them feel small or unsure.
One parent shared this:
“Know your worth and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you feel like you are in a scary or unhealthy situation. Sometimes a door has to close for a window of new opportunities to open.”
Your support matters. Remind your teen that they deserve to be around people who make them feel strong, not people who tear them down. Help them stay close to positive influences and trust what they really want in a friendship or relationship.
How Parents Can Model Healthy Relationship Skills
- Model Healthy Boundaries
Teens learn a lot by watching the adults in their lives. When you show them what it looks like to set a boundary and stick to it, they start to understand it’s okay to do the same. This might mean saying no to something you don’t feel comfortable with or calmly walking away from someone who isn’t being kind.- Tip: Share a time when you had to speak up for yourself. Let them see that it’s not always easy, but it’s important.
- Praise Their Values, Not Just Their Wins
It’s great to cheer them on for good grades or athletic goals. But it’s even more powerful when you notice and name their character. When you point out their kindness, honesty, or courage, they learn those things matter too. That builds self-worth from the inside out.- Example: “I saw how you stood up for your friend today. That took real courage.”
- Talk About What Respect Feels Like
Ask them what respect means to them. Then, help them put it into words they can remember. Maybe it feels like being listened to, not getting interrupted, or being able to say no without guilt. When they know what respect feels like, it’s easier to notice when something’s not right.- Prompt: “How do you know when someone truly respects you? What does that feel like to you?”
What Parents Can Do: Building Trust and Creating Space for Honest Conversations
A powerful insight from the story shared earlier is just how easy it is to miss signs of emotional pressure or unhealthy influence – even when you’re paying close attention.
“Looking back, there were a lot of red flags I truly wish I had picked up on,” one parent shared. “I would have rather annoyed my child with questions than missed the chance to help.”
It’s natural for teens to say things are “fine,” even when they are not. Trust is essential in any relationship, but once it is broken, especially early on, it is often a signal that something needs to change.
Parents may hesitate to ask tough questions out of fear of pushing their teen away, but showing curiosity and care, even when it is uncomfortable, can open the door to honesty, safety, and connection.
One of the best ways to help teens open up is by creating a space where they feel safe talking – without judgment or pressure. That’s where a tool called Motivational Interviewing, it can really help to dig deeper with your teen in exploring unhealthy relationships.
It’s a simple technique that uses curious, open-ended questions to get your teen thinking and reflecting. You don’t need to give advice or have all the answers. You can support them as they think through what feels right to them.
This approach works especially well when talking about relationships, peer pressure, emotional safety, or anything that feels complicated. Teens don’t want a lecture, and you probably don’t want to be met with eye rolls. Instead, your role is to help them connect the dots.
How do their relationships affect their confidence? Their choices? How they feel about themselves?
If you haven’t explored it yet, we recommend checking out our blog on Motivational Interviewing. It breaks down the research behind the method and explains why it works in many different scenarios.
We’ve included some real-life questions and scenarios to help you start meaningful conversations with your teen:
Conversation Starters + Scenarios
💡 Scenario: A teen seems drained or anxious around their friend group.
✅ Ask: “How do you usually feel after spending time with your friends? Do you feel more like yourself, or less?”
📝 Why? Encourages reflection without judgment.
💡 Scenario: A teen is dating someone but isn’t opening up about the relationship.
✅ Ask: “What’s something about your relationship that makes you feel really good? Is there anything that feels a little off or confusing?”
📝 Why? Makes space for both positives and concerns.
💡 Scenario: A teen is navigating tricky social dynamics.
✅ Ask: “Who in your life makes you feel safe being exactly who you are?”
📝 Why? Shifts focus from fitting in to emotional safety.
💡 Scenario: A teen talks about conflict or drama with friends.
✅ Ask: “What do you want most in a friendship? Do you feel like this person is able to give that to you?”
📝 Why? Helps them clarify their values and expectations.
💡 Scenario: A teen is facing peer pressure.
✅ Ask: “Have you ever done something just to fit in, and then felt weird about it later? What did you learn from that?”
📝 Why? Opens the door to talk about boundaries and belonging.
💡 Scenario: A teen is quiet about a romantic relationship.
✅ Ask: “How does this relationship make you feel about yourself? More confident? More unsure?”
📝 Why? Encourages emotional self-awareness.
💡 Scenario: A teen seems withdrawn or uncertain in general.
✅ Ask: “If you ever felt stuck or unsure in a relationship, who would you go to for help? Do you feel like you’d be heard?”
📝 Why? Reinforces the importance of trusted support systems.
Educating youth on the difference between healthy love and harmful influence is a powerful form of prevention.
As parents, caregivers, and educators, we have the opportunity to give teens the tools to think critically about their relationships, stand firm in their values, and seek help when something doesn’t feel right.
You can also support them in building healthy friendship skills. Talk with them about what it means to feel safe, respected, and valued. Help them seek out better relationships that reflect who they are and what they care about.For more ideas on nurturing long-term happiness and emotional health, explore The Obvious Key to a Happy Life, which highlights how strong connections and personal passions play a key role in helping young people thrive in life.
Have the conversation. Ask the questions. Keep the door open. Love should feel safe, and it’s always okay to ask for help.