How to Talk With Teens About Social Influence

Why the Need for Connection Makes Smoking Hard to Resist

Wanting connection is human. For teens, that pull is especially strong.

Adolescence is a time when friendships, belonging, and social acceptance carry real weight. Teens are paying close attention to what brings people together and what earns approval. Social media puts those signals on display all day long.

But this isn’t just a teen issue. It’s a human one.

A recent example makes that clear. In New York City, a man handed out flyers inviting strangers to smoke cigarettes together. The draw wasn’t the cigarette itself. It was the chance to connect with other people in an unexpected, shared way. People showed up because it felt social and communal. Smoking simply became the backdrop.

That example highlights something important. When a behavior is tied to connection, it can feel appealing even to people who understand the risks.

That same dynamic plays out for teens online.

When smoking or vaping shows up in social media content, it’s rarely framed as a health choice. It’s framed as part of a group, a vibe, or a moment that feels relaxed and social. A creator smoking with friends. A casual clip outside a show. A comment section full of people joking and engaging.

Over time, those images send a quiet message: 

This is what people do together. This is how you fit in.

For teens who are still figuring out their identity, that message can matter more than warnings about long-term harm. Social approval feels immediate. Consequences feel distant. When a behavior looks socially rewarded, it can outweigh what teens know intellectually about risk.

This doesn’t mean teens are careless or uninformed. It means they are responding to the same human need we all have: to belong.

Understanding that need helps adults respond more effectively. 

Why Smoking Feels Appealing To Teens

Instead of focusing only on the behavior, it helps to look at what the behavior represents and why it feels appealing in the first place.

For many teens, smoking, vaping, or other risky behaviors are less about the substance and more about the signal. These behaviors can communicate confidence, belonging, or independence. They can act as a shortcut to feeling included in a moment or a group.

When teens see these behaviors paired with friendship, humor, or status online, the appeal becomes social rather than chemical.

That’s why simply naming the risk often falls flat.

Teens already know smoking is harmful. What they may not have examined yet is why it keeps showing up in spaces that feel meaningful to them, or why it’s framed as something people do together.

Why Cigarettes Are Showing Up Again

Cigarettes have started to reappear in pop culture and social media in ways that feel intentional.

They’re not framed as trendy or rebellious. They’re shown as raw and unpolished. A cigarette between friends. A quiet moment outside. Content that feels unscripted and real.

For some teens and young adults, that look reads as authentic.

Recent reporting and public health research show that cigarette imagery is increasing in popular media and social content, especially in spaces followed by teens and young adults.

In a digital world shaped by filters and carefully curated feeds, cigarettes are often used to signal being unfiltered or effortless. The cigarette blends in, while the social moment takes center stage, making it seem like smoking is simply part of how people connect.

For teens who are still forming their identity, that message can carry real weight.

This is where conversations can shift in a more productive direction.

How to Talk About the Appeal of Substances Without Normalizing the Behavior

Start by naming the draw, not the danger.

Instead of opening with consequences, try talking about what the behavior seems to offer.

You might point out how smoking (or vaping or drinking alcohol) often shows up in group settings online, or how it’s framed as casual and social. This shows teens you’re paying attention to the same world they are, which makes the conversation feel more grounded and less judgmental.

From there, ask questions that invite reflection rather than defense.

• What do you think that post is trying to show?
• Why do you think people respond to it?
• What do you think makes it look appealing?

These questions help teens slow down and examine the message behind the image. Then they can begin to notice the pattern themselves.

Help Teens Separate Connection From the Behavior

Once the appeal is out in the open, it becomes easier to talk about what’s being confused with connection.

You can name that smoking is often used as a social backdrop, but it isn’t what creates the bond.

The shared experience, the conversation, or the sense of being included is what people are really responding to. The cigarette just happens to be there.

This distinction matters. It helps teens see that the behavior isn’t the source of belonging, even if it’s presented that way.

Offer Alternatives Without Making Them Sound Like Replacements

Rather than suggesting “better choices” right away, it helps to talk about where teens already feel connected. Sports, music, creative projects, gaming, volunteering, or small friend groups all provide real social payoff without the added risk.

The goal isn’t to compare or persuade. It’s to remind teens that connection shows up in many forms, even if those moments don’t always go viral.

Keep the Conversation Ongoing

These discussions work best when they’re not one-time talks. Social norms shift quickly, especially online.

Checking in occasionally about what teens are seeing helps keep adults in the loop, and it signals that it’s safe to talk about influence without getting in trouble.

When teens feel understood, they’re more likely to question what they see and less likely to accept risky behavior at face value.

What Helps Teens Recognize Social Influence

You can’t shield teens from everything they see, but you can help them recognize influence when it shows up.

Open conversations help. So do questions that invite reflection rather than judgment. Asking what kinds of posts keep appearing, which creators they follow, and what feels popular right now can surface patterns teens may not have noticed.

From there, adults can help teens slow down and look closer. Who is shown using substances? How are they framed? What parts of the story are missing?

That awareness builds critical thinking. It gives teens language for what they’re seeing. And it supports healthier decisions long after a trend fades.

A Simple Way to Use This in the Classroom

This topic works well as a short discussion because it focuses on noticing patterns, not personal behavior.

Step 1: Start With a Familiar Scenario
Use a brief, age-appropriate example students recognize. This could be:

• A short clip from pop culture or social media

• A description of a common scene, like friends hanging out outside a show or school event where smoking is present

The goal is recognition, not shock.

Step 2: Focus on What the Content Is Showing
Keep the discussion observational, not personal.

Try prompts like:

• “What do you think this post or scene is trying to communicate?”

• “What feels normal or appealing in this moment?”

• “What stands out more, the behavior or the social setting?”

Students can respond out loud, write briefly, or answer through a quick poll.

Step 3: Name the Pattern
Help students connect the dots without lecturing.

You might say:

• “It looks like the social moment is the focus, not the smoking itself.”

• “The behavior blends into the scene because the connection is what stands out.”

This helps students see how image, behavior, and belonging are often bundled together online.

Step 4: Close With Awareness, Not Advice
End by reinforcing the skill, not the rule.

Try:

• • “Noticing these patterns helps you decide what you’re really responding to.”

  • “The more you notice how content is framed, the easier it is to think critically about it.”

Even a five-minute conversation like this supports critical thinking, social awareness, and decision-making. It fits naturally into health class, advisory, or media literacy lessons and keeps the focus on the content, not students’ personal choices or experiences.

How Natural High Can Help

Natural High supports parents and educators with research-backed tools that help teens build confidence, purpose, and critical thinking skills. Through prevention programs, real-world stories, and practical resources, Natural High helps teens recognize social influence and make healthier choices rooted in who they are.

Learn more about Natural High’s youth drug prevention educator and parent resources at naturalhigh.org/get-started.